Sherlock Takes the EQ Test
by thesingingbluebell
Summary: What happens when Sherlock attempts the EQ (Emotional Intelligence) Test? Lots of fluff. A funny, fluffy fic which follows Sherlock as he tries to logically deduce his way through the EQ test, selecting all the wrong answers along the way. WIP.
1. Question 1

**I don't own any of the Sherlock characters, they belong to BBC. I'm just here with a piece of my imagination :)**

 **(see the end of this chapter for more details!)**

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Sherlock paced about his living room in a frenzy, sending papers flying in all directions much to the alarm of his landlady and former line-dancer Mrs Hudson.

" _Sherlock!_ What are you doing?" admonished the landlady of 221B Baker Street, who hurriedly backed off as the consultant detective yelled in triumph.

"Ahah! My gun! I've been wondering where it's been for the last two minutes!" With that, Sherlock promptly released the safety catch and fired three shots in succession at the now-decimated yellow smiley face on the wall, succeeding in making Mrs Hudson jump.

"Sherlock dear, please put away that absurd thing! You're messing up the wallpaper, again!"

With that, Sherlock tossed the gun into the kitchen sink and dug amongst the pile of papers obscuring the floor; and retrieved a violin. He promptly began to play an ear-splitting tune that was unsavoury, apparently, to all ears but his own. With that, Mrs Hudson threw her hands up and left the room with a muttered "Good gracious!"

"Mrs Hudson!" Sherlock suddenly ceased playing. "Tea please!"

"Not your housekeeper!" Mrs Hudson shouted back.

Sherlock tossed down the violin and continued his rampage around the apartment. "Where are the cases? The robberies? The murders? _Anything!_ " The lack of activity had drove Sherlock to the brink. "John's in California, Lestrade's in Australia and, _ohhh!_ " Jumping to his feet as another idea assaulted his mind, Sherlock scrabbled for his phone under the piles of paperwork and grabbed it, speed dialing a number quickly as possible.

It was Anthea who answered the phone. "Hello Anthea. Is my brother there? Yes, Mycroft. My brother. I'm Sherlock. Yes, that one. I don't care if he's exhausted from another of his vile diplomatic meetings. Put me on the phone with him!"

At last the phone was answered.

"Yes, brother mine?" Sherlock had to admit, Mycroft did sound absolutely exhausted.

"Do you have a case? Anything? Anything at all? I need _something,_ Mycroft! Something!" Sherlock was almost pleading.

"No, nothing at all. I have an idea for you. Try taking that IQ test. It'll make you feel better." was all Mycroft responded with.

"Boring. Completed it like, what, seventeen times already."

"Well, try the EQ test. Its emotional intelligence. You should find that one interesting. And a little harder than the IQ test." Mycroft's voice sounded almost amused at the prospect.

Sherlock snorted. "EQ? Why would they name it _EQ?_ If it's an emotional _intelligence_ quiz, they should at least name it EIQ. If this lot can't even get their acronyms right, I have no hope at all for the quality of this _emotional intelligence_ quiz."

"This is what happens when you are in a world inhabited by goldfish, Sherlock," drawled Mycroft.

"If that's the best you can give me, I'll give it a try," huffed Sherlock, trying to decide whether to be annoyed or ecstatic at this idea of an _EQ_ test.

"Do email me your results, dear brother. I'll be in touch."

 _Hmm, odd_ , though Sherlock. _Why would Mycroft bother with my results?_ Shrugging the notion off, Sherlock tossed his phone into some distant corner and pulled out his laptop.

Typing "EQ test" into the search bar, Sherlock settled down for what he hoped was to be a long, satisfying afternoon. His illusions were crushed however, and the statement, "10 Questions and your EQ will be determined!". Sherlock rolled his eyes. It would take him less than a minute to figure it all out, as he had with the IQ test.

He pressed _Start the Test._ Question 1 rolled around. Sherlock stared at it.

 ** _Question 1_**

You see someone in distress. What would you do in order to help them?

a) ask them what is wrong. If they say nothing, walk away.

b) ask them what is wrong. Even if they say nothing, stay with them to comfort them and talk them through it.

c) Deduce what you can about the person and using your assumptions, attempt to help them.

d) Ignore them completely, it isn't your problem.

Sherlock was having a hard time deciding between c) and d). A and B were out of the question, of course. the only logical steps would be either C or D. C would be easy for him, he knew that. But drawing on his own personal experience of comforting people and attempting to help them, it would seem D was the only viable option to him.

Confidently selecting D, Sherlock frowned at the time it had taken him. 6 minutes on one question? Mycroft would be disappointed. He was pretty sure even John could beat the time. Shaking his head, Sherlock moved onto Question 2, confident that he would ace this test.

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 **Hey everyone. How was that?**

 **Also, since there are 10 questions in the test, it will be one question per chapter. Don't worry, this doesn't mean each chapter will be super short. There'll be lots of other fluff to accompany it. I hope you enjoy this first chapter. It might be a little slow-going at first-this is a first draft; but I think the overall idea is good. :)**

 **Also updates might be a little slower- I'm working on A Harsh War as well.**

 **Feel free to favourite and review.**

 _Update: I've added an extra section into Sherlock's convo with Mycroft. Thank you to Qoheleth for suggesting this tweak._

/thesingingbluebell/


	2. Question 2

**hi everyone, I'm back with a second chapter for you all! Thanks for all the reviews, they're much appreciated :)**

 **Also, a certain sentence in this chapter might imply something that's a little higher-rated than the rating K. So for this chapter I'm raising the rating to a T.**

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Question 2 of the _EQ_ test appeared on the screen. Sherlock scrunched up his eyes as he tried to comprehend it.

 **Question 2: You and your partner are in the middle of a heated argument and are beginning to say very nasty things to each other. Should you:**

a) storm off and spend the rest of the day sulking and ignoring them

b) try to reason with them and come to a compromise

c) apologise and ask them to apologise too

d) spend the rest of the day annoying them greatly as payback.

 _Now this,_ thought Sherlock, _is a question worthy of my mind-palace._

Closing his eyes and steepling his fingers against his head, Sherlock slowly entered his mind-palace.

Molly Hooper appeared first. _Sherlock, it's simple. B and C are the best options._

Then Mycroft. _Oh, brother dear, don't be so soft-hearted. We all know b and c are the compassionate options. And we all know where compassion leads us, don't we?_

Next appeared John. _Sherlock, I hope you don't think that I'm the partner in this question. How many times have I told you and Mrs Hudson, I'm not your partner? Has nobody noticed my string of girlfriends? Now there was Sarah, and then Jeanine, oh wait, there was someone before Jeanine, now..._

Sherlock quickly made a swiping motion with his hand and John was swept aside, still blabbering on.

And then, to Sherlock's immense surprise, Irene Adler appeared and stepped forward. _Oh, my dear Sherlock, what are you thinking? Obviously none of these options are correct. You know what I would do, wouldn't you, darl? To resolve this situation, you should just - oh, nevermind. You wouldn't understand, that's why my boss called you '_ The Virgin', _after all._

Sherlock replied with an absent-minded _humph_ and cast 'The Woman' aside too.

Ruling out b and c- Sherlock focused on deciding between a and d.

 _Balance of probability, little brother._ Mycroft's voice echoed inside his head.

Sherlock's mind raced back and forth. Reasons appeared, then disappeared in a flash. Images flashed by so fast Sherlock only caught a glimpse of them. He had almost reached his answer when-

"Sherlock Holmes! Come down here and get your lunch, right this instant!" Mrs Hudson's voice sliced through all of Sherlock's thoughts and his eyes snapped open.

The detective groaned. It had taken him all of ten minutes to try and find that answer, and now he would have to repeat the tedious and mind-boggling process all over again.

Grunting, he made his way down to 221A where Mrs Hudson had a tray of food waiting.

"I'm not your housekeeper, dear," admonished Mrs Hudson whilst handing over the tray.

"Tea?" remarked Sherlock, astounded. "Why is there _tea_ here? There's never tea here."

"Oh, Sherlock, that's the tea from this morning, remember? You requested it a while ago, but you never came to collect it. Now, what am I always saying, if you want that cuppa, you've got to come-"

She was interrupted with the bang of the door, and when she looked around, Sherlock was already halfway up the stairs.

"Thanks, Mrs Hudson! You really are a darling!" called Sherlock.

Half-angry, Mrs Hudson muttered "oh dear."

Back upstairs, Sherlock happened upon Molly Hooper, who was waiting by his desk.

'Oh h-hi Sherlock," she began timidly, "I was just wondering-"

"Yes, yes, what? I'm busy," responded Sherlock, scattering papers as he looked for his phone. He needed to dial John and get his input on this question. The real-life John wouldn't be babbling as he had been in Sherlock's mind-palace, and maybe finally, Sherlock could get the blasted question 2 out of his way.

"Oh. right. Well, I was wondering if you-" stammered Molly, trying to find the right words.

"You've said that already. Were you just wondering or did you come up here to actually ask me something?" snapped Sherlock, agitated as he couldn't find that _damn_ phone he had chucked away somewhere earlier that morning.

Flushing, anger finally seemed to get ahold of Molly and she responded indignantly, "Well, if you would let me speak, perhaps I could tell you! I was asking you if you would like to visit that nice Chinese restaurant with me. Maybe tonight?" she added, hopefully.

Sherlock seemed to miss the last sentence altogether. "Yes, yes, a Chinese restaurant. Sounds good. Let's go there in a month or three, I'll get back to you later." Waving a hand, he shooed Molly at the door, who looked at a loss for words at his answer.

"Oh. ok, then, sounds good, Sherlock," she responded, a little despondent.

Sherlock had completely forgotten about her already.

Deciding he could do without John's input, as that phone had seemingly decided to sprout legs and walk away, Sherlock turned back to the laptop. Logically, he deduced that since he had selected D on the previous question, the balance of probability was that the creators wouldn't put D again as an answer as that would simply be too easy to guess. Yes, _Balance of probability._ Solves everything.

Sighing in contentment at finally having an answer, Sherlock selected A and pressed _Submit._

Turning back to his lunch, he was disappointed to find it had grown cold.

 _That took me 24 minutes and 29 seconds!_ That really was a disappointment. Even more disappointing than his cold lunch.

Sherlock braced himself for question 3. If all the questions were this hard, imagine how long question 10 would take him! This was possibly, the hardest test Sherlock had ever encountered in his life. And that was saying something.

 _Well, at least I've definitely got 2 questions right,_ he thought placatingly. That was a comfort, at least.

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 **hullo! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was very fun to write, and I thought incorporating Sherlock's mind-palace would be a nice addition.**

 **There were several surprise appearances in here. Poor Molly. And Irene Adler- I'm not sure if you understood what that sentence implied-I just thought it suited her character well and I meant it to be rather funny :)) if you didn't like that part-just let me know in the reviews.**

 **Thanks for all your reviews and favourites. Please continue to review-let me know what parts you liked in this chapter or what parts you disliked. Also, I hope I got the characterisation right-this is set before John was married to Mary.**

 **If you have any suggestions for next chapter, let me know ;)**

 **I'll see you all soon.**


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